One of these days, maybe I'll be good at updating this thing regularly again. I really do enjoy getting to throw ideas out there. It's a good time.

My manuscript has been passed to the next level. I'm supposed to have a final answer in a few weeks. So who knows? Maybe the next time I update this, I'll be able to say I'm getting published. I've also begun researching for my next books and have started formulating ideas of how things will go. As a result of the research (which has consisted of reading large chunks of the OT), I've had a good time really examining things and pondering them, all the while seeing the differences between what's actually there and the versions we're told as kids. It's really been a good time. It's interesting to me that if the Bible were made into a movie (or rather a series of movies to avoid being ridiculously long), it would most definitely be rated R. There's a lot of intense stuff in it.

Between the research and a few conversations I've had in the past days, I've really enjoyed diving into the text and pondering it, all the while consulting and discussing with others. Originating from the conversations I've had, I've really realized I have my own faith, that it's really not piggybacking on my parents', brother's, or anyone else's faith. I'm confident in what I believe, even though I don't have all the answers to questions people are bound to ask. I had a huge issue with just riding on the coattails of others' faith earlier in my life, and it's nice to have another encouragement that I really am growing.

Here's the thing, though. For us to grow, we need to surround ourselves with it. You don't get to be an excellent pianist just by watching other people play. Yes, it can help, but you've got to sit down and hit some keys yourself. Just like that, we can learn a lot from hearing people speak and teach. However, there comes a point where we really need to dive in ourselves and invest ourselves in it.

Here's to diving in!

God bless

I've been thinking about passion in regards to the various facets of our life lately again. How are our passions shown? What reveals to us what our true passions in life are? I would say time and action. If we're spending more time with something over another thing, it's probably because we like it more (with the possible exceptions of the poopyness that is work and school...they're just time suckers...grr...). And then there's the other part. Our actions. If you watch a person who is a diehard football fan watch his favorite team in a championship game, you can see very plainly his passion. If you see one's work of poetry that delivers love to their recepient, you can see passion in their words. You can see a videogame player's passion as he yells at the TV, laughs with the game, or even cries at the game when the storyline is particularly powerful and moving. How do our actions show our passion for God?

There's a lot of ways. It's not that hard to see it in people. It's always very clear when someone spends a lot of time and energy with God and studying His word. It's obvious to see passion in a missionary who truly cares for his people, or a youth minister invest himself in his students. But what about on a Sunday morning, when everyone's sitting comfortably in their seats listening to their preacher. Why does the room go silent when the preacher says something amazing, powerful, or moving? Why are there only a few amens in a congregation of 500? It doesn't bother me all that much, really, as I'm not really one to shout amen during a sermon, because that's just not some people's style, and that's ok. I'm not saying that just because someone doesn't yell amen in a sermon that they're not passionate about God. Far from it. My issue, though, is this: When people will hear a cricket chirp when the minister talks about God, but will erupt in applause, cheers, laughs, and amens when he makes a comment or joke regarding MSU and UofM. If it's not your style to vocally express yourself with an amen, then why do you feel careful in the exact same environment cheering about your sports team? Or about a political issue? We need to watch the images we're giving off, and we need to make sure we're showing the world where are true passions are.

With two papers being all I've got left for the semester, I'm starting to breathe a sigh of relief. It's been a crazy semester. I expected less busyness because Em and I both took significantly less credits than last semester, and yeah, I feel that it was more packed. I guess that's life now...

I'm not entirely sure for the reasoning behind this entry. I kinda just felt like it was a good time to right one. There's been a lot of life happening lately. Lots of discussions with lots of people. Lots of shopping. Lots of excitement for the best Christmas ever. Emily and I have finally made our apartment a home. It's nice to have that feeling, especially with the wrapped presents, decorated Christmas tree, and a pine-scented candle. And, I got to go to Mads last night, which was really impressive. A small part of the play helped my mind ponder various thoughts that have helped formulate things for my next novel, which seems to be steering towards a two book storyline. I'm excited.

For any interested in helping this holiday season (or any other time afterwards, for that matter), my brother Andy over in Africa is getting simple supplies, such as paper, pencils, notebooks, etc., for a refugee camp that he's spent some time at. There's a school there, but they seriously lack the supplies. If you can donate anything, that would be fantastic. Let me know if you've got anything, and I can pass along more information or whatever. Any and all help would be greatly appreciated by the refugees.

I had been doing some thinking about Theology and people's various theologies lately. I had to write a paper that described and fleshed out my theology of the Old Testament. It was a good assignment. I got me thinking and developing. I liked it. Along with that paper, I seem to be having multiple conversations lately with various people about theology and various ideas. Our God is a God who is involved in the world which He created and He continually impacts history. Throughout the Bible, God becomes directly, actively involved in what's happening in the world. It's encouraging and exciting. It's confusing sometimes, too, because some of the things He chose to do might not make sense to me all the time, but that's ok. I don't ever expect to fully understand God, nor am I sure I'd honestly want to be able to. Anyway, I just think it's really awesome that our God involves Himself in our lives. It is truly encouraging, especially when things seem difficult or confusing. And, as far as I can think, we're in the middle of celebrating a season that is meant for remembering the time that God stepped into history in the most complete through Jesus being born in Israel. It's truly incredible what our God has done for us.

God bless, and merry Christmas!

It's been a very crazy couple of days. There was Thanksgiving, then staying up all night to go shopping Black Friday morning, then sleeping all day to go to a lock-in, then sleeping all day after the lock-in. And now I'm up at 5:44pm. Crazy couple of days, I tell ya. Anyway...

I've had a little more contact with the editors looking at my manuscript, which is really good news. Even though getting published and writing books for a living has been a dream of mine for a while, and of course I therefore have wanted it to all happen and come true, for the longest time there was still that part of me that wouldn't let it be anything more than a dream that would probably not come true. Lately, though, it's been different. I actually feel like this could happen. It's a very exciting feeling and has gotten me thinking a bit.

We have dreams of doing amazing things all the time. We have promises throughout scripture saying God can do amazing things. We have promises saying that He enables us to do amazing things. So, since we've got the promises, why don't we trust and believe them? Now, I'm not saying the promises gaurantee we'll get everything we want in life, but we do have the promise that God can help us do anything. If we as Christians actually honestly believed in the power that God has and shares with us, imagine the things we could do. We claim that we've got faith, but do we have faith in a weak, unable God or do we believe in the All-Knowing, All-Powerful God that created everything and through his son has saved us? If we stopped viewing things from a worldly viewpoint about what is likely and what isn't, and started viewing from a Christian viewpoint, imagine the differences that could be made. For example, the country of Haiti is in horrible shape, and it doesn't seem like there's any real chance to fix it. There's not really anything left that can be turned into a cash crop or anything to get the economy going. However, just because from the world's viewpoint, Haiti is doomed, that doesn't mean God can't do something with the nation. I'm not saying He will, but that doesn't mean we get to stop believing that He can. And I wonder sometimes, how many times our faith is like that of the Israelites right before they were sent into exile. Do we as Chrisitans just keep signing, ignoring God, trying to placate Him with empty, pointless sacrifices and gifts? We need to keep our eyes on the one, true God, following and obeying, and believing and trusting that He can and will move in ways we can't even dream.

God bless

Maybe I was wrong in saying things went badly for Abraham, but I still feel that the passages back up that what Abraham did was wrong. Even if things didn't go badl for him, they went badly for both the pharaoh and Abimelek. The verses clearly show that God was pissed about Sarah being taken.

Either way, there was another part of the conversation Emily and I were having that I feel like writing and putting out here for people.

We were talking about things like God's plans for people, things, events, etc. and pondering how that all works out. Now, we were both in agreement that we can't really grasp it all, because God's God and we're not, but it was still a good talk. We were talking some about divorce and thinking about children that come from second marriages. Did God have specific plans for that kid, or did He make something for the kid when the two people got a divorce? If God has a specifc plan for a kid to accomplish, did he want the divorce to happen so that this kid would be born from the second marriage? But God hates divorce, but he still has a plan for this person, even though maybe He doesn't like what had to happen to bring this person into being? I figure, it's something that can be really dangerous to ponder to much, and I choose to believe that God's got it all under control, and we just have to believe that He's got it all under control, plans and all.

Branching from that is a thought that has to do with my life personally. Both my parents were married before they got married to each other and had Andy and me. Now, my dad got a divorce, but the one that swims around my head is that my mom's first husband, Jeff, died. Now, from what I've heard, Jeff was a great Christian guy and I'd love to somehow meet him someday. Here's the thing that swims in my head, though. For me to be born and for me to have the life that I do, Jeff had to die. If he had lived, I wouldn't exist.

So, even though I can't fully grasp everything, and I just have to believe that God has a plan for everything, sometimes I think of Jeff as someone who can really show Jesus to me. If Jeff hadn't died, I wouldn't exist. If Jesus hadn't died, I wouldn't have eternal life in Heaven. It's hard for me to be ok with someone dieing for me, because I'd much rather suffer myself than to be the cause of another's suffering. Nevertheless, Jesus died for me, and, more than my dislike for someone having suffer for me, I would hate even more for the suffering to be wasted. Jesus died for us all, whether we like it or not. He's already gone through it all. So, it's not a matter of whether we want him to or not. And since he's paid the price, the least we can do is do our best to make his sacrifice mean something and make a difference in our lives and those around us.